I recently found myself in dire fashion straits–I’m nursing and I had to find something to wear to my cousin’s wedding.  With visions of having to hike a dress up around my ears when it came time to feed the baby, I went on a frantic search to find a dress that would make breast feeding as discreet as possible.

I took my search online and what did I find? Dresses that were so ugly, there’s no way anybody was even going to LOOK at me, let alone notice that I was feeding my child. Oh look–here’s an option–a nurse’s uniform dyed pea green with an oversized collar! And another: a v-neck, no a boatneck, YES–a v-neck/boatneck all in one! Or how about a pajama-cum-sweatdress with a hood (in case anyone recognizes you!)? You’d like a print? How about this extremely small scale, all-over print that will emphasize your shapeless post-partum volume?

Maybe all of this eye poison is intentional? After all, we’ve heard more than enough about people who think breast feeding in public is disgusting (see Babies in Bars)! I can hear the designers’ fashion mantras in my head now: “The worst dressed, hides her breasts the best.” Or “This frumpy color and cut will make you look less like a slut.”  Or perhaps, more to the point: “Lady, you’re dead to us now. You are not on our fashion demographic radar.  I could care less what you wear to your cousin’s wedding. There’s nothing to see here.  Move along, move along.”