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ad hoc LIFE

Mar22Lunch of Champions
Tonya

I’ve reached a new low in my culinary undertaking:

Yes, Lunch, Snack #1 and, even, Snack #2 are all foods made for toddlers. I have stooped to stealing my son’s food because I’m much too busy (ok, maybe, lazy) to make any actual food. In my defense the 2 mashup packages (lunch and snack #1) contain veggies so there’s no way on earth P would ever touch them. As for snack #2, please don’t tell him I ate his apple slices.

I’d love to say that this has happened because I’m watching what I eat, you know, taking to heart that Kate Moss saying: “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” Except, I’d be totally and utterly lying given that:

1) Apparently, she’s never had cake. No one who’d ever had a cupcake would say something so ridiculous!

2) Kate Moss is a coke whore and, frankly, I can’t afford that habit.

3) After this picture was taken I ate a Snickers bar and, later that evening, an entire pizza.

So, really, I’m just very very very cooking-challenged, i.e. lazy and completely phobic of the kitchen. If you’d like to donate to the Help Tonya’s Family Eat Properly Fund simply send a chef to my house, one whose willing to also go to the grocery store…I hate that too.

Filed Under: ad hoc LIFE, Food, My Neuroses
Tags: desperate measures, mashups aren't a meal?, neurotic issues

9 Comments

Mar3My Hero. I Don’t Know Her Name But We Are Soul Mates.
Tonya

You know how in elementary school, at least once a year, you had to write a paper or make a collage or stand up and give a talk about who your hero was and why. I can’t remember the lucky bunch of folks I picked back then (not to date myself but I’m pretty sure one of them was from BJ and The Bear?). Anyhoo…these days it’s rare for me to contemplate heroes, that is, until today. I want to meet this woman.

She gets me.

On another note, ad hoc MOM has been nominated as a top blog for parenting advice…hey, stop laughing…I can hear you laughing…we give advice, sometimes, well maybe not ‘good’ advice, per se, but certainly ‘how not-to’ advice. So have a heart and be my other hero and click this link to vote for us at Circle of Moms. Thanks! Or you can click on the badge in the upper left hand side. Or if you’re in Australia, it might be on the right. I don’t really know. Rock the vote!

Filed Under: ad hoc LIFE, Relationship
Tags: my hero, things I write when I'm drunk

10 Comments

Feb24Hey Vanna, Can I Get A Vowel?
Tonya

I think we’re just one letter away from knowing what killed all the dinosaurs…

Filed Under: ad hoc LIFE
Tags: apocalypse, do dinos also play jeopardy?, things we do when we're bored

8 Comments

Feb3It is a Truth Universally Acknowledged That Men Are Obsessed With Obsolete Electronic Devices
Paula

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a married man in possession of a massive collection of obsolete electronic gadgets must be in want of a drawer to stash all of their cords in. Against my better judgment I have recently opened this drawer. It looked like a Radio Shack had been bombed, and for some inexplicable reason was being stored as “evidence exhibit A” by the FBI in my husband’s bottom dresser drawer. Only a man would store his merino wool sweaters from Banana Republic on the floor of his closet because his precious drawer space was being used up by cell phone chargers from 2001. I’m seriously trying to imagine a circumstance in which any of this stuff would be useful.

ME:

“Hey, sweetie. Um, we’re like $5,000 short in the checking account this month because I decided that I just had to hire a personal assistant this month. I also desired a driver. Oh. Then there was the chef. So sorry!”

HUSBAND:

“Oh, that’s totally fine. I’ll just go into my drawer of obsolete worthless cords and cell phone chargers and rig up a magic money machine!”

ME:

OMG! I’m so glad I didn’t throw all that away! Let’s buy a pony!

Likely? Unlikely. I’m getting out the trash bag. . .and hoping my husband doesn’t read this particular post.

Filed Under: ad hoc LIFE, Disorganization, Relationship
Tags: things I might regret writing, WTF?

14 Comments