ad hoc MOM

Jun14Suburban Living 101: Or, Has Anyone Seen My Car?
Paula

It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost three months since we left Brooklyn.  While we miss our friends, the restaurants, the coffee shops and the bars (even though we haven’t set foot in one in years), I’m pleased to report that there’s much to like about living in the suburbs.  We eat dinner outside more than inside (and sometimes even breakfast!).  We have so many windows that we haven’t had to turn on any air conditioners, if I get annoyed with June I can demand that she “go play upstairs.”  However, there are some basics to living out here that have taken me awhile to grasp.  For instance. . . .

Maybe trading in our car for a shopping cart car would solve all of my problems?

  • When you park your car in a huge parking lot, like at Target or Home Depot, it seems you’re supposed to make a mental note of where you left it.  I forget to do this EVERY TIME.  Every time!  Like a total idiot, I am always walking out of Target with bags of stuff I don’t need, a cranky toddler, and a puzzled look on my face because I have NO idea where my car is.
  • Speaking of stuff I don’t need.  Let’s talk about Target briefly.  The second you put something in your cart, whether it be an $8.00 Merona t-shirt or an economy size box of goldfish crackers you have just committed to spending at least $120.00 at that store.  It is IMPOSSIBLE to spend less than $120.00 at Target.  Try it.  Seriously.  I challenge you to spend a penny less.
  • Okay, shopping carts.  Why is it they barely move in the actual store. . . they are all squeaky and difficult to push, yet the second you get the stupid cart out to your car and dare look away from it for two seconds while opening the trunk the damn thing is flying down the parking lot at about 50 mph toward like a major highway or a Mercedes?  Seriously, I am always sure to remove my child from the cart, like, immediately upon reaching the car (as soon as I find it that is).

I’m sure there’s more stuff I’m screwing up – and I have much more to learn.  We’re off to the store, so please wish us luck.

And hey, if you want to horrify your friends and family by writing a memoir, I’m giving a free webinar next Monday!

 

 

Related posts:

  1. Embracing Motherhood Head On I’ve been spending a lot of time with my kid lately.  We haven’t met many new people yet, so I’m basically her only playmate (I’m...
  2. Today Sucked BUT Then There Were Girl Scout Cookies Today sucked. P went to daycare which usually means for this adhocmom I’ve got 8 hours to accomplish everything I possibly can get my hands...
  3. Is That Woman Psychotic? Or is She Just Someone’s Mother? I got off the subway today and lucky me!  I was right outside the conductor’s car!  I waved like crazy and smiled from ear to...

Tags: , , ,

Filed Under: Life Lessons, Motherhood: The Job

ShareThis

10 Comments

  1. FranceRants says:
    June 14, 2011 at 10:27 am

    DANG! I wrote you a comment that was good and lost it somehow…

    So, I will leave you with this: your daughter looks too darn cute in that cart and I predict a future suburban discovery will include idiocy regarding the U.S. Postal system (it may be far off, but mark my words, one day in WILL bite you in the arse!)

  2. Paula says:
    June 14, 2011 at 10:37 am

    Ha! Ass has soooo been bitten by post office. However, it must be noted that this was due to the Brooklyn post office. Hmm, so far so good regarding suburban post office, but I’ll be on the look out. I mean, I gotta say, if we get a package and we’re not home THE UPS GUY WILL WALK TO THE BACK OF THE HOUSE AND LEAVE IT ON THE BACK PORCH. In Brooklyn they would basically keep it for themselves. . .
    Paula recently posted..Suburban Living 101- Or- Has Anyone Seen My CarMy ComLuv Profile

  3. Kim @The Fordeville Diaries says:
    June 14, 2011 at 10:57 am

    We moved to NJ from the city last year and one of the biggest things I can’t get used to (sadly) is the BYOB thing. I know it’s cheaper and you get what you want — *IF you remember* — which we never do. Drama always ensues. Maybe I should keep a bottle in the diaper bag?
    Kim @The Fordeville Diaries recently posted..Project DistractionMy ComLuv Profile

  4. Melissa says:
    June 14, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    So your suburban tales definitely are helping me to mentally process the fact that we are leaving Brooklyn for BrookLINE, MA in August. Like you, I will miss the restaurants/bars/stores that I never go to. And I’m hoping there will be a giant Target close by to make me feel oh so at home.

  5. Ward says:
    June 14, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    The annoying thing about the stores in Brooklyn is that they have shopping carts, but the aisles are too narrow to be able to use them. WTF

  6. Jessica DeWitt says:
    June 14, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    I have never lived in a “City-like” environment, although I grew up in Houston, it isn’t anything like Chicago, New York, etc. The thought of adjusting to public transportation and being squished in tiny apartments is scary to me, so I wish you luck on the opposite. Open space is nice.
    I DID just have a post office issue today though… Long Lines, One Clerk. Crap.
    Jessica DeWitt recently posted..Post Office @ the Lunch Hour Dont Do ItMy ComLuv Profile

  7. Alexandra says:
    June 15, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    Oh, this is fun.

    great minds think alike.

    Lame saying, I know, but I just did a post on learning to live in the ‘burbs.

    There’s pluses and minuses to it all: like anything.

    xo

  8. Suniverse says:
    June 15, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    I’ve lived in the suburbs for the past 12 years and I have to park in the same spot at each store or at the rec center or at the library or I have absolutely NO IDEA where my car is. NONE.
    Suniverse recently posted..Freedom may be just another word- or it may actually be a parallelogramMy ComLuv Profile

  9. carrie says:
    June 16, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    I will spend about 38 hours trying to position the shopping cart in the parking lot so it won’t roll back onto my car or into someone else’s, instead of taking the 30 seconds to actually return the cart. it’s a strange micro-rebellion that I don’t understand about myself.

  10. Lori Dyan says:
    June 18, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    Your daughter is adorable. That cart is a nightmare – just wait until she’s 90lbs and still wanting to squeeze her butt in there*

    *My 8yo son weighs ninety pounds. In other news: wtf?
    Lori Dyan recently posted..It Was the Best Birthday Ever- Until Someone Almost DiedMy ComLuv Profile

Give us your two cents

CommentLuv Enabled
 

© 2010 ad hoc MOM. All rights reserved. Powered by WordPress. Designed by Carrie Harvey.
Entries (RSS) and Comments (RSS).