ad hoc MOM

Mar2Will This Birthday Ever End?
Paula

Sunday, February 27th, 6:30 a.m.

June:  “Mom, is it my birthday?”

Me:  “No, you were born on leap day, which is weird but very cool, but we’re celebrating your birthday today because it’s a weekend and therefore the gay uncles were available for champagne cocktails and pizza.”

I can tell by the look on her face that this kind of answer is not helpful, things are just not computing.  Sort of like someone who works in investment banking trying to explain to me what exactly it is they do.

Me:  “Okay.  Yeah.  It’s your birthday!”

June clearly understands she can use this birthday business to extort extra veggie bootie, more episodes of Backyardigans, etc.  There’s a sucker born every minute (if you have a real birthday).

I may be only three, but my birthday lasts several days, I’m wearing fabulous shoes and there are cute boys at my party!  Truman Capote can basically kiss the ass of the stuffed rabbit I’m holding.

Monday, February 28th, 6:15 a.m.

June:  “Mom, is today my birthday?”

Me:  “Ask your father.  He feels that today IS in fact your birthday because your were born in February, and this is THE closest day in February to the non-existent February 29th which I feel is a very arbitrary reason for selecting this day to celebrate your birthday.”

June:  “I want juice.”

Because I feel guilty about giving birth on a fake day, I basically let my child eat frosting all day and let her have 100% free reign over the remote.

Tuesday, March 1, 6:40 a.m.

June:  “Mom, today is my birthday too right?”

Me:  “Well, since it is officially 365 days since I spent 3 agonizing hours pushing you out of my body, I personally feel that yes, today is your BIRTH day, but again, it’s complicated because you were born on a day that only comes around once every four years.   You may hate me for this in your youth – but when you’re older you’ll feel special and will probably celebrate by throwing exclusive dinner parties where expensive bottles of wine are served.”

June:  “Make me oatmeal now.”

The cake is drying out, I’m going to scream if I have to sit through season three of the Backyardigans again, and it’s interesting to see which half of the friends and family pick this day to call.  Next year June will have a real birthday.  I’m excited.  I want to have a real party, but I have a feeling she’s going to be disappointed.  One day?  One stupid day for a birthday?  I feel like either way I just can’t win.

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Filed Under: Celebrations, Milestones, Musings

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6 Comments

  1. Carrie says:
    March 2, 2011 at 7:08 am

    It’s kind of like a half hannukah birthday! Happy birthday june! They really know whats going on this year dont they? Its exhausting. Makes me nostalgic for the days when they ate the wrapping paper!

  2. Tonya says:
    March 2, 2011 at 9:58 am

    I’m sure next year a simple parade through the streets of NJ on a flower float that ends in a fete attended by Foofa, Elmo, and Dora who all jump out of an 18 tiered cake will totally suffice! Happy Birhday(week) Juney!
    Tonya recently posted..Will This Birthday Ever EndMy ComLuv Profile

  3. the mrs says:
    March 2, 2011 at 10:21 am

    Happy birthday(s), June! This had me laughing out loud. Sounds like you’re handling things well. Icing and unlimited tv is actually how I solve all of my problems.

  4. RookieMom Whitney says:
    March 2, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    I love it! Even those of us who have a regular birthday like to stretch it out as long as possible, right? When I was a kid with divorced parents, there was birthday at my mom’s house, my dad’s house, with school friends, and then of course, my real birthday.
    RookieMom Whitney recently posted..Activity 220- Insert foot in mouth Snap photoMy ComLuv Profile

  5. Melisa/Shiny Brite says:
    March 2, 2011 at 4:36 pm

    All birthdays should last three days — at least while you’re young enough to want them to. Happy Birthday, June! (+ LOVE your name!)
    Melisa/Shiny Brite recently posted..Currently Obsessed with… ABC KitchenMy ComLuv Profile

  6. Melissa says:
    March 8, 2011 at 7:31 pm

    Birthday week used to be my M.O before the kiddies came along. You’ve inspired me to reinstate it. For all of us. And how cool is it that your little one is born on Feb 29? When she’s turning 40 and traumatized by her looming birthday, as I am this year, she can tell herself that she’s not REALLY 40, divide the number by 4 and act her true age of 10 and therefore have complete license to regress…
    Melissa recently posted..Mexico boundMy ComLuv Profile

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