ad hoc MOM

Sep6This Fall I’m Taking Things Bird By Bird
Paula

Before I was a mother, I used to welcome the arrival of fall with wide-open arms.  I wasn’t a big fan of summer.  I much preferred chilly days, sweaters & raincoats and indoor activities to 90-degree days, air conditioning and sweat.  But now that I am responsible for a small person who needs to burn off energy on a regular basis – and ideally in a wide-open space, I seriously fear the end of summer.  Life with a 2.5 year old is much easier when you can spend your days doing any number of things outside, and you are free from the hell of tiny mittens, boots, and that pesky rain cover.  The weather is perfect right now, but I know my days are numbered and I’m already dreading the long winter ahead.

I’m depending on these birds to get me through the winter with my mind intact.  Are they up to the task?

I’ve been reading lots of books on writing lately, looking for new inspiration, tips, etc., and I reread Anne Lamott’s fantastic Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, if you haven’t read it, it’s a really helpful book.  Anyway, when her brother was ten, he did that classic thing where he put off writing a massive report on birds.  He had three months to do it, but naturally waited until the night before.  Surrounded by books on birds at the kitchen table, in tears, and totally overwhelmed by the massiveness of the task, his dad said to him “Bird by bird, buddy.  Just take it bird by bird.”  I remember loving this story when I first read Bird by Bird years ago, but confess the significance was somewhat lost on me.  Yeah, work was hard sometimes, but I could deal.  Sure, life could be tricky – but there were cocktails.  But now fall is approaching with it’s long dark days that will need to be filled creatively. . . EVERY SINGLE DAY.  Instead of freaking out about the long months ahead, I might just take the “toy by toy” approach, maybe try things “play date by play date.”  I’m also thinking this method might be helpful in other ways too.  We want to paint our living room, but seriously, how do you do that with a two year old running around.  Maybe wall by wall?  Who says a living room has to be painted in a day?  And that stupid storage space that’s sucking the cash right out of my checking account?  Maybe I just empty it box by box?  This idea somehow gives me comfort, that I’ll survive the winter, and my walls will no longer be yellow.  And who knows, maybe I’ll actually get to write a post about how I finally got rid of my stupid storage space?  If I do, Anne Lamott is SO getting a fan letter.

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Filed Under: Motherhood: The Job, My Neuroses, Resources, Summer, Worries

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9 Comments

  1. deborahlquinn says:
    September 6, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    I LOVE that book. Give chapters of it to my students; chant “bird by bird” to myself whenever I am overwhelmed (which is to say daily)…You know who else has a good writing book? Stephen King. Yes, seriously. It’s great. Not as helpful with storage spaces and toy disposal, but really good in terms of the “get your butt in the seat and write” type advice.
    Of course, I say I love Lamott’s advice and..um… I’ve been planning to paint an “accent wall” in our bedroom for ten years. Ah well.

  2. Paula/adhocmom says:
    September 7, 2010 at 8:33 am

    I LOVE Stephen King’s ON WRITING. I recommend it to clients all the time. Seriously, the story about how he got the idea to write Carrie is AMAZING.

  3. Melisa/Shiny Brite says:
    September 7, 2010 at 8:50 am

    Love this post, Paula. It rings so true! A coping strategy for fall. One. Thing. At a. Time. :) xo

  4. Hello, Fall: Links for Brooklyn Mamas « Shiny Brite says:
    September 7, 2010 at 9:38 am

    [...] How one mama is taking things Bird by Bird this fall. — ad hoc MOM [...]

  5. Kendra says:
    September 7, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    ‘Bird by bird’ is, essentially, my number-one go-to coping skill. For anything. One day, one hour, one box, one meal…. one whatever at a time. It does help me, too!

  6. jilly says:
    September 7, 2010 at 10:00 pm

    I’m taking things “bite by bite”.

  7. Patricia Merath says:
    September 8, 2010 at 1:39 pm

    I guess that’s the ideal way to do it; bird by bird or day by day, I like that! Now if I could only do it——–

  8. Cool Parenting Links of the Week says:
    September 11, 2010 at 11:21 am

    [...] This Fall I’m Taking Things Bird By Bird [...]

  9. Shoe Size Convertion says:
    August 11, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    good information, I’ll read though it again

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