When P was born I wouldn’t let anyone turn on the television for fear that even the mere sound would corrupt his little mind. But now, well, TV balances out the little nuggets of “wisdom” that I seem to be imparting his way.

TV:

Show: Barney

Task: The purple dinosaur and his friends discuss feelings and how to make friends feel better if they are sad or hurt.

Application: His BFF fell recently at our house and he went up to her and said: “Are you ok?”

Me:

Task: When something you are using doesn’t work as fast or as well as you want it to (i.e. iphone, remote control, laptop) yell expletives at it and then when that doesn’t work bang on it.

Application: He couldn’t turn on his Elmo remote so he bashed it against his bookshelf, gave a large resigned sigh, shook his little head and then went off to play with his legos. (Already he is jaded against the world)

Tv:

Show: Yo Gabba Gabba:

Task: Toodie learns to share her ball with Muno

Application: My son offered me one of his crackers and said “I share, mommy.”

Me:

Task: When running late turn to those good ol’ expletives, also throw clothing all over the room as you dig for the last clean sock in the house.

Application: My son went to get his jacket so we could go to a playdate, 15 minutes later, he’s got the jacket on but the clothes from his dresser are thrown all over the apartment. (It’s my college dorm room all over again sans empty liquor bottles…ok sans cheap liquor bottles)

TV:

Show: Sesame Street

Task: Cookie Monster talks about cookies and the shape of a circle.

Application: My son now points to every round object he sees and triumphantly yells “CIRCLE!”

Me:

Task: When hungry and feeling sad eat cookies, as many boxes as you can find.

Application: My son asked to watch a tv show, I said no, he responded with “I want cookies.” I replied, “No.” So he trumped me with: “I NEED cookies.” (Sadly, he doesn’t realize mommy ate all the cookies in the house, even the graham crackers…I’m just trying to keep him eating healthy. You know…taking one for the team)

TV:

Show: Yo Gabba Gabba

Task: Brobee learns not to push Plex: “Don’t Push Your Friends!”

Application: P will now run up to people, animals, or things he wants to push, then look at me, make the gesture of pushing without actually touching anything and say “No Puss, mommy.”

Me:

Task: Whenever anyone in our Condo building makes a slight noise the dog (aka chicken little) goes berserk. In turn I scream: “Enough Dudley! I will make a stew out of you if you don’t be quiet!”

Application: Dog starts barking, son yells: “Dudley Quiet! You Stew!” (Great, I’m waiting for the day when my little Eminem threatens his peers into becoming some cold weather dish)