I know that to work part-time and be a mommy part-time is a luxury in the United States.

But why?

And why, as Amy Pohler so aptly puts it in the recent issue of Bust, is there so much “lady on lady” crime when it comes to how many hours a mother chooses or doesn’t choose to work? We torture each other and ourselves. Chances are if you work full time you worry about all you’re missing and think those that stay home have it great; if you’re a full-time stay-at-home mommy there’s a high possibility you think full-time and part-time moms look down on you; and if you’re a part-timer you feel torn in so many directions you’re pretty sure everyone hates you. It’s a NO win situation for ALL of us. Whether you have another job or not, Mom = Work.

And, there isn’t a correct way to be a mom, yet, there are certainly a lot of scientists/economists/politicos, etc. out there who want to tell us how to do our job. The problem is we moms are too busy judging and being judged by others that we haven’t banded together and demanded the respect and benefits that should come with raising the future.

In Sweden, for example, parents have 480 days of PAID time off (that’s about a year and 4 months!!) with EACH birth. (See Mental _Floss, Vol. 9, Issue 1, Jan-Feb 2010, pg. 64) and in the Netherlands the past 30 years have brought tax incentives to women who choose to work part time, so today the majority of Dutch women take advantage of this choice. I’m not saying that part-time work is the only way to go; I AM saying that it should be more of a choice. If you so choose: working out a deal where you work 4 days a week and get to stay home at least one extra day with the kid(s) without having to take a cut in pay, benefits, or respect. But even those Dutch women are getting flack now. The Vox European Analysis Organization (remember those damn economists I mentioned) has decided:

‘…a part-time job is often considered a trap in which the full potential of women remains unexploited…’ (Bust, Dec-Jan 2010, pg. 18)

Basically, they are saying that these part time working women are simply wasting their talents on…ahem…their children??? And it seems that these women are completely unaware of the dreadful choices they’re making! These econs are breaking down the love, commitment and YES hard f-ing work in raising children to a basic concept of production, distribution, and consumption of goods and services. Ummm, we aren’t running a Nike factory here folks! It’s the next damn generation!  Apparently options for mothering should be made by economists. Of course! Why didn’t I think of that? I usually have H and R Block put together my grocery list while my local post office gives me fashion tips.

I’m sick and tired of these various groups crunching biased numbers and then using whatever “research” they have found to bolster their idea of what WE should do. I’m not saying women shouldn’t work full time or part-time or stay at home, NO, in fact I’m saying WE should all have the option to choose what works best for US: our personality, our family without judgment from other moms or others in general. We must stand together as women against a system that tells us at every turn we aren’t doing enough (whatever choice we make) even though most of us rarely see more than 4 hours of sleep. (I think I got 2 last night, hence my grumpy post)